Our guest arrived at 2:00 pm. She was a fellow student in graduate school. We talked about many topics of interest including gossip, complaints about classes, and the future. At her departure around midnight, she was still talking animatedly as she was when she first arrived. As she stood in the doorway as I tried to get her to go home, she finally paused in her speaking about herself and said, "how are you." That was the first question she'd asked me in her 10 hours in my presence. During her entire visit, she did nothing but talk about herself.
When Tito and I were pen pals, the thing which made the relationship so different was that he didn't just talk at me. He asked me questions and listened to my answers. I told him that one of the reasons my relationship with him was so fulfilling was that he interacted with me like a person he was interested in and everyone else treated me like "a listening box for humanity." I recognized this difference in the following greeting card:
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